Pain Of Anticipation

Pain Of Anticipation

Daily Prompt: A Bend in Time
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/27/daily-prompt-waiting/

When you’re giddy with excitement, does time speed up? Slow down? Tell us about the experience of anticipation.

Anticipation..for me..when I was younger..I used to wait with hope..when it was about any result..but when it was a waiting for an appointment with a doctor..fear would lurk.

But..as life passed..I realized..that waiting and dreaming make up most of our life span..as a renowned poet , Mirza Ghalib wrote,” I got my four days of life span, two was used up in dreaming and remaining two in waiting/anticipation.
Few of dreams or hope,,time has expired..so all those are now deleted from the trash bin..those that remains still are on waiting..but I have decided to live my life..each day..not waiting for my dreams to realize..but to make the present life..a dream come true 😉
I never feel any pain in waiting..for it is this time..that nothing is suppose to happen..technically it is an idle time..when I can do as I please..short spans like waiting for a meeting to start..gives me time to review my points..waiting for a dentist to start his aggressive drilling..I am consciously enjoying the “no pain” time..because once he is done with me…ouch! then there is just throbbing pain.. I like to wait..gives me some space..my eyes wander to ceiling..carpet..checking the decor..when I used to wait for a friend..I would look at myself at least twenty times..girls do have fun admiring themselves..now..I have no friends..who come to visit me..yep everyone is busy..I come to word press to write..but here the only thing I wait for is..dinner..yes while I am waiting for dinner to be served..I am at Word Press..trying as fast to use this time..I know that it will end..but I love to extend this waiting time…as I want dinner to get delayed..

Daily Prompt: Regrets, I’ve Had a Few, September 6, 2013 What’s your biggest regret? How would your life have been different if you’d made another decision?

I regret many things in life. My  decisions were never mine..so I basically regret ..one thing..my inability to oppose decisions  made for me by others. Mostly my family..I always want to be free and open about ideas and thoughts..but in real life..it is suffocating..I regret to be so weak..in gaining strength..I want to leave my  fear..but somehow it has better hold on me.. Most of my friends advice me to..break free ..from all social ties and escape..but that too is not possible..I don’t want to break hearts..nor cause distress..but I am still unable to convince my family..to let me go free and work as I want..where I want to be..so..basically I regret to be so weak…

If I had been rigid for my degree abroad..I would be living a totally free and challenging life..as I always wanted to..making my own choices and taking responsibilities too..

Now..I am neither here nor there ..I am stuck at a point, called nowhere ..