Years pass by and we fail to remember ..yet each one of us has a scar..sometimes when we played and hit on hard..sometimes life played a joke that left us a scar..unseen it never healed in any way..it crept under skin and itched away..wanted to reveal but was scared to share..for it was a scar that took away..my self respect..and faith in self..what can be worst than a lying self..when I trick another to believe..I know inside my mind what seeps..blood that runs in my veins are not what I have build each day..scars they never scare me away..for I am scar that is invisible to eyes..but felt inside..each day..every night..can you imagine ? how tough is a fight..that is within..between your desires and fears..who will conquer ..or will perish after it is tore ..tattered ..defeated in tears.
When I want to disappear from eyes that search and mouth that scream..I turn to light and turn on spell..making me invisible to attacks from enemies and friends ..why do I need to be invisible from friends ? To give them space and opportunity to meet others and feel their moments without me..as I turn invisible I learn secretly what they think about me or feel for me..does it help me ? Yes..I think..I now know in real who is my friend and who is my enemy.
The victory is difficult to achieve when your enemy is “your desires”. This battle has many armors and weapons..you want to leave your evil and selfishness and be able to do as is proper..why is it so difficult to tame those unruly wants..for money or fame..what others do has nothing to do with me…yet I want to become like them..why are they my peers..I must think logically and be honest..what is right is never to be twisted as undersiable
In this tug of war..I am left bare and exposed..hunger has made me a bag of bones..yet I crave for wrong ways and think those are the easiest and have the right way for achieving my fulfillment..why am I turning into a fake.? am I not good enough as I am..
I must decide now and kill this devil inside me..or it will turn me into a monster..will I escape ..can I defeat and win this war within..
Waited all my life sitting on a bench , waiting for rains to fall ..watching the sky..not a single drop from high up..seemed as if , my dreams evaporated ..still I sat and waited for love, happiness, fame to come visit me..but they thought where I was , certainly was doomed for good location..Still I waited for dawn and dusk..for butterflies to come, birds to circle over my head after I left a crow came to check if there was anything left of me.. Nothing remained just an empty bench with a ladder sitting connecting to clouds..yep..the ones that never turned into rains for me..Life started with expectations and ended with a long long wait…question is..what was I doing all the time on that deserted bench in nowhere land…Nothing…So, it served me right because nothing can come out of nothing…
Get up move around..have a life ..enjoy it..
Picture source Sarolta_ban Design Stories
Searching inside my mind
I want to find
whether I am darkness or light
Do I make things right ?
Or I turn hopes into frights
Can I make peace and feel right
Or must I end up in a fight
When I come into your life
Do you smile or get hold of a knife
reading helps to write
and writing leads to read
we get inspired and we work instead :)
then we return to books or newspapers in hall
we skim through magazines showcasing fashion for fall
everything has an influence, including the weather too
if it is raining outside, are you feeling blue
or within your heart a love bird is singing a new tune
it has meanings..something like I do :)
So..write as you please
Flowers are Seldom free
You..my dear Hibiscus have you bloomed for me
so colorful and sweet :)
soft and textured with crease
when you spread your softness to see
I want to touch and feel
Hibiscus are you happy with the leaves